The Road to Recovery: How three Southern Albertans escaped substance addiction

Out of respect for the personal privacy of those we spoke to, we will only be sharing their first names.

Tania:

Tania’s struggles with addiction had an innocent beginning.

In 2006, she underwent back surgery to remove a tumour in her spine. She was prescribed opiates to help manage the pain.

“With just how my body was or how my mind was at the time, my pain was too high to where the prescriptions weren’t working so I was going to look for other black market stuff or what I could find to kind of substitute what I was missing or what I thought was missing.”

Due to her constant pain and other stresses in life, Tania said she became depressed for a considerable amount of time and became addicted to morphine, oxycodone, and Tylenol.

Her husband was diagnosed with chronic pancreatitis and spent a lot of time in the hospital, leaving her to take care of work and raising their children.

Although describing herself as a “functioning addict” at the time, her relationships with those around her were impacted.

In the fall of 2014, she overdosed.

This was the moment that lead her to realizing she needed to get better.

With about “90 per cent” of her family being addicted to drugs or alcohol themselves, Tania sought help from a professional.

Her physician helped her to stop using these substances but she went out of her way to build her own support system.

“I was going to mental health counselling…I was starting to go back to my culture and starting to practice my religion, going back to powwows, stuff like that, learning how to find myself and find my identity before all of this happened.”

Through this process, one thing she learned about herself is that she is resilient, and even though there are times where she feels like she cannot overcome the challenges she faces, she says it was important to remind herself that things will always get better.

Things took another turn in March 2015 when her husband died from overdosing on fentanyl.

“I was feeling lost so I needed that support from my doctor, from my physician, from people that I can make my own support system around, that’s what kept me going, and especially with my kids, my kids were like, mom, we need you.”

Her husband’s passing made her re-evaluate her life and what she wanted to do with it.

While she had already been clean for a few months at this point, Tania decided that she would never again use substances and wanted to use her own experiences to help others who might be going through similar things.

She ended up receiving a degree from the University of Lethbridge with a major in addictions counselling.

“It hurts me because a lot of these are young people that I see that are lost on the streets or are addicted and it makes me think, what’s the reason behind it?”

“We’re not born to be addicted to stuff. Something always happens to make us this way, so what can we do to understand each other to help one another to overcome this?”

In the years since committing to sobriety, Tania says many of her personal relationships have improved but has learned to “love from a distance” those who might prove to be a negative influence.

We asked Tania what she would say to someone who did not understand substance addiction or who might have negative or hostile thoughts towards those who use drugs.

She told us that addiction and mental health does not discriminate.

“Instead of putting those judgemental stereotype views on them, how can we understand and educate ourselves to help them? What resources are out there or what can we do to help them think, OK, they’re not alone?”

Cherise:

Cherise started using substances at a very young age.

She was sexually assaulted when she was just eight years old, which started a cycle of severe depression. She initially turned to alcohol at age 11 as a form of release but later started using cocaine and “whatever you put in front of me.”

Growing up in Grande Prairie, Cherise said drugs were fairly accessible, and with her father being addicted to alcohol, there was usually something available to her.

“Alcohol gave me everything I didn’t have, like confidence and self-worth because I felt like I didn’t belong and that I was unworthy.”

In the years that followed, Cherise was in what she described as an abusive relationship. Her boyfriend went to jail and told her that she had a drinking problem, so she decided to enter a 12-step rehabilitation program.

Things seemed promising at first, but when she relapsed after 30 days of sobriety, she ended up facing a few different criminal charges in Southern Alberta. For the sake of protecting her confidentiality, we have agreed to not share what those charges were.

During the court process, she went into a sober living facility in Calgary. After finishing the first treatment phase, she was sentenced to jail.

Her time in custody was an “eye-opener” and that prompted her to turn her life around.

“I was using the first month, but then I decided I didn’t want to live the way I was so I started going to healing circles and counselling and 12-step groups…when I got released out of jail, I came back to the 12-step group and I’ve been sober ever since.”

Throughout her recovery process, Cherise was able to identify the root causes of why she kept using drugs and alcohol and previously had a tough time overcoming addiction.

“With my depression and anxiety, there was underlying issues. Like, my addiction wasn’t the problem, it was what was going on in my upbringing and what was going on inside myself. Alcohol and drugs are just the symptom of the problem.”

Similar to Tania, Cherise decided that she wanted to help others who might be going through similar struggles.

She recently completed upgrading courses and is set to start a program in addictions counselling this fall.

“It has to be them that needs to do the work. When I was out there using, no one could get me sober but myself – not my boyfriend, not my mom, not nobody. People in addictions, they have to be ready, you can’t just force them to go into detox, you can’t force them to go to treatment because it won’t work.”

“They have to want it, so that’s why I want to be there for them to give them hope and that support that everything will be ok once they’re ready.”

We asked Cherise what she would say to someone who did not understand substance addiction or who might have negative or hostile thoughts towards those who use drugs.

She believes that those who have hostile thoughts will likely continue to have them until it impacts someone they care about.

“If you want to help people in addiction, love and support them – not enable them – but love and support them through their journey until they’re ready to go. If you hate on them, which a lot of the community members do hate on them, that’s just giving them a reason to keep on using.”

Stephanie:

Stephanie’s story began in a broken home.

Her grandma was a survivor of the residential school system and was taught to never share emotions or any problems she might have. These teachings were passed down through the generations.

Her father died when she was nine years old and, following this, her mother entered into a series of abusive relations.

She said she did not know how to deal with the trauma related to her father’s death. She often turned to alcohol as a release.

When she was 19, Stephanie moved out of her home in the Whitefish Lake First Nation near Slave Lake.

She stayed with a friend in Calgary and attended a party where she was offered something that she thought was cannabis. She later learned that it was laced with methamphetamine.

This started a four-year cycle of addiction to meth.

“It was just a big party to me – that’s what I looked at it as, just one big party. I can’t even recall how I felt during those times of four years. It doesn’t even felt like I was doing what I was doing.”

Stephanie says her addiction lead to many of her relationships deteriorating.

Her children ended up living with their father in Lethbridge and she could only see them when she was sober.

“It affected my kids, not in a bad way but in a positive way because they didn’t see me as a person who was addicted…every time they saw me, I was just who they saw me last when they lived with me and that’s the image I wanted to keep for them.”

“My mom saw the ugly side of me. She saw someone who would get angry fast or someone who would play the blame card or stuff like that. I lost a lot of friends for sure.”

By the time she decided that she needed to make a change, she was homeless. Stephanie was in and out of women’s shelters and frequently slept in the dugouts of the softball park in the north Lethbridge coulees.

It was there that she met the man who would end up becoming her current fiancé.

Together, they sought to improve their lives, starting with finding stable jobs.

“Ever since then, I just kept moving forward and like, if I can get a job I’m gonna get a place and we did get a place. If I can get a place I can get visits with my kids and I did get those visits. I just kept testing myself.”

While she had looked into a variety of drug treatment programs, including talk counselling, she decided that was not for her.

Stephanie ended up finding solace in her church.

“I had to stop hanging out with certain people. I kept myself secluded so I stayed home. I would just go to church, Bible study, and prayer throughout the week.”

In addition to learning religious lessons, she found being in a supportive environment like her church was a major factor in her getting better.

Stephanie was proud to say that she has been sober since Christmas day, 2017.

For the first year that she was not using meth, she found it hard to be herself.

“I was always paranoid, I couldn’t think properly, I was already shaky. I’m not sure if I should say that but weed helped me calm my nerves down a lot. Now that it’s been three years, I’m doing less of it and I’ve come to the realization that I don’t need substances anymore.”

She is still working on repairing her relationships with her friends and family, especially her mother, but says they have improved significantly overall.

We asked Stephanie what she would say to someone who did not understand substance addiction or who might have negative or hostile thoughts towards those who use drugs.

“I think it just sounds better when you just sound more compassionate about the people who are addicted to something. There’s always a story as to why someone is the way they are…they just haven’t met the person to help them come out of it. For me, it took my fiancé right now to help me and took me to help him.”

We would like to thank these three for speaking with us so openly and honestly about their experiences.

by David Opinko

The Road to Recovery: How three Southern Albertans escaped substance addiction

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